I’m sure you’ve been invited to one or two of those office get togethers or holiday parties over the years. You know the ones – where you play “Dirty Santa” or the white elephant game and exchange ridiculous gifts that end up making everyone laugh but that, for the most part, no one wants to take home. Want to be the hit if your next party? Here are my picks for some of the best funny white elephant gift ideas that are sure to please.
1. Canned Unicorn Meat – $12
So this canned unicorn meat is in no way edible or delicious (really, it’s just a stuffed, dismembered toy unicorn in a can), but it WOULD make an excellent white elephant gift that is sure to get some laughs at your next office Christmas party!
2. Asshole Repellent – $7
This “Asshole Repellent” is, quite possibly, the ultimate ridiculous gag gift, especially for company office parties. Sure, I doubt it’s going to ACTUALLY keep the jerkwads away from your desk, but it sure might lighten the mood around the office when you whip this can out and give a few quick spritzes.
3. Can of Uranium Ore – $40
So maybe if you work at the Department of Homeland Security, this can of uranium ore might not be such a great gag gift. Or maybe it would be, hrmm?? This IS actual uranium ore, BUT it has a low level of radioactivity. A sample size like this is most often used for testing Geiger counters. But it could be a funny gift, nonetheless.
4. Horse Head Mask – $20
5. Very Best of David Hasselhoff – $13
Now here’s a great white elephant gift to give: a collection of top hits by everyone’s favorite Baywatch hunk and German pop music star, David Hasselhoff. Seriously, if unwrapping this one doesn’t get a few chuckles or nervous laughs, I don’t know what will.
6. Zombie Ammo Can – $12
A perennial favorite, anything zombie-related is always sure to be a big hit at parties. And this zombie ammo can is actually functional – YES, you can store gun ammunition in it and everything! Or you could use it to pack your lunch, or even as a travel case for toiletries and cosmetics. The perfect compartment for zombie hunters on the go!
7. Heinz Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding – $10
You probably have to be born in Britain to want to eat this. Because with a name like Spotted Dick sponge pudding, it just sounds so delicious. BUT, you have to admit that something this strange would make an excellent funny gift to pass around! That said, maybe after the laughter dies down, you can all indulge in some of this dried currant pudding, perhaps while enjoying a spot of tea?
8. Scientific Testicle Self Exam – $143
There are so many jokes just waiting to be made, as someone unwraps this scientific testicle self exam kit. “Hey Bob, your mom helped me try this out last night.” Or some other witty repartee. But seriously folks, this kit is actually used by health care professionals, and everyone knows how important it is to give yourself regular once-overs, in the name of health. Plus, according to reviews, this rubber scrotum works as an excellent “makeshift stress ball”!
9. Luggable Loo Utility Portable Toilet – $27
This portable toilet actually DOES have its uses – after all, it’s made for outdoor activities such as hunting and camping. But just because it’s functional doesn’t mean it can’t be a funny gift! For bonus white elephant party points: wrap up this big 5-gallon bucket in a big box, but hide a bottle of booze inside, to keep things interesting at the party!
10. The Original Road Kill Cookbook – $7
I feel like this road kill cookbook belongs to the Dirty Santa gift exchange hall of fame. It’s the perfect gift for this kind of event – after all, it’s the kind of thing no one really buys for themselves, but everyone loves to share the pleasure of browsing what’s inside, like cars slowing down to ogle a wreck. It’s human nature to want to gross ourselves out, right?
11. Ex-Boyfriend 5-Piece Knife Set – $160
This ex-boyfriend 5-piece knife set also serves as a great divorce party gift. Or maybe a really tongue-in-cheek bachelorette party gift? Even though the design is silly, it’s actually a pretty useful gift, all things considered, and the set comes with a 25-year warranty. How’s that for a long-term relationship?
12. Boyfriend Body Pillow – $33
This boyfriend body pillow serves as a warm arm around your shoulder, at bed time, or during a plane ride. (You can imagine all of the weirded out glances from fellow passengers already, can’t you?) This bizarre pillow also makes a funny gift idea for a holiday Santa gift exchange!
13. Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee – $20
A beloved favorite of ironic hipsters everywhere, the Three Wolf Moon T-shirt is sure to be a crowd-pleaser at your holiday parties. Not a fan of wolves? Don’t worry, because you could always opt for a similarly ridiculous tee featuring a unicorn, kitty cats, a dinosaur, or a bald eagle in a fighter pilot uniform instead.
14. Microwavable S’Mores Maker – $9
Who doesn’t love roasting a bunch of delicious s’mores around the campfire? This fun and affordable microwavable s’mores maker lets you make ‘em, easy-peasy style, at home. It might not garner any laughs, but it probably WILL be one of those Dirty Santa gifts that everyone is fighting over because they actually WANT to take it home!
15. A Christmas Story Nightlight – $15
A holiday classic, everyone loves the weird leg lamp from the movie, A Christmas Story. Bring on the smiles with this A Christmas Story Nightlight, which is a perfect size and price for a gift exchange.
16. Cards Against Humanity – $25
The most totally inappropriate, and amazingly fun party game on the face of the planet. Which makes Cards Against Humanity a white elephant gift you’ll probably fight to keep for yourself. Or try to convince everyone to play after the gift swap is done.
Really, who doesn’t want to smell like pizza? To be fair, DEMETER makes a wide array of weird scents that mimic everyday smells. Some are delicious smelling, like a Cosmopolitan cocktail or vanilla cake batter, but pizza perfume? Sounds like a perfect white elephant gift idea to me!
18. Polaroid Camera Toilet Tissue Holder – $30
At least this idea is somewhat practical, but still utterly ridiculous at the same time! Give your office mates a Polaroid camera themed toilet tissue holder at the next holiday gift swap.
I hope this list has inspired you with some funny gift ideas for your next Dirty Santa gift exchange or white elephant office party!!